HOLIDAY COPING SKILLS
This section of our Wellness site is created by parents on our Parent Wellness team. For more information please join us at our monthly Parent Council meetings
This section of our Wellness site is created by parents on our Parent Wellness team. For more information please join us at our monthly Parent Council meetings
Holidays can be stressful because there is often a lot being asked of us with many expectations to meet.
It is incredibly easy to get swept along in societal and family expectations and reflexively say “Yes” to more than we want to; or to things we really want, or ought, to say “No” to.
What if, instead of just dreading the inevitable difficult aspects of the holidays, we started evaluating our participation, or degree of participation in them?
Most of us make lists this time of year - gifts, groceries, cards, etc… what about a “to feel” list?
My “to-feels”? Generous. Warm. Connected. Loved.
I’ll be checking all activities, invites and expectations against my “to feel” list.
If I can’t find a match to any of my “to-feels”, I’ll look at declining or re-imagining how I could participate.
Sometimes a straight up “no” might create more waves than we are ready to deal with. If I can’t skip out completely on the large and always too-long gathering at Aunt Shirley’s, I might create a reimagining of the tiresome tradition.
I could let them know I can’t make it for dinner, but I’ll bring some thermoses of hot chocolate and suggest we walk and see the local christmas lights, post-dinner as a group. As an introvert, this would meet my need to feel ‘Connected’. The act of walking will spread the group out somewhat (hard to walk in a clump) and this would give me the opportunity to have small group or one-on-one conversations and pick and choose who I have them with. We’re likely go inside to warm up after the walk, and I could take that time to interact with the group as a whole for a short time before it is time to leave.
I could meet their expectation that I show up, and also meet my need to leave feeling connected, instead of overwhelmed and resentful.
Working as a family to share our “to-feel lists, then evaluating,re-imagining and re-jigging existing traditions together as a family could be a wonderful new tradition. Feeling heard, understood and like an effort is being made to meet each other's’ needs just might be the best gift of all
Resources / Activities:
CAMH-Dealing with Holiday stress
CAMH- Tips for a Healthy Holiday Season
CMHA- Managing Holiday Stress
CBC- Less Holiday Stress
Money Crashers- 9 Tips for Holiday Stress Management
Be Well- Stanford- Surviving the Family Holiday
Mayo Clinic- Tips for Holiday Coping
Best health- 10 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress
Dr. Michelle Borba- Holiday Stress Busters for Kids and Teens
Huffington- Teen's Guide to Surviving December
It is incredibly easy to get swept along in societal and family expectations and reflexively say “Yes” to more than we want to; or to things we really want, or ought, to say “No” to.
What if, instead of just dreading the inevitable difficult aspects of the holidays, we started evaluating our participation, or degree of participation in them?
Most of us make lists this time of year - gifts, groceries, cards, etc… what about a “to feel” list?
My “to-feels”? Generous. Warm. Connected. Loved.
I’ll be checking all activities, invites and expectations against my “to feel” list.
If I can’t find a match to any of my “to-feels”, I’ll look at declining or re-imagining how I could participate.
Sometimes a straight up “no” might create more waves than we are ready to deal with. If I can’t skip out completely on the large and always too-long gathering at Aunt Shirley’s, I might create a reimagining of the tiresome tradition.
I could let them know I can’t make it for dinner, but I’ll bring some thermoses of hot chocolate and suggest we walk and see the local christmas lights, post-dinner as a group. As an introvert, this would meet my need to feel ‘Connected’. The act of walking will spread the group out somewhat (hard to walk in a clump) and this would give me the opportunity to have small group or one-on-one conversations and pick and choose who I have them with. We’re likely go inside to warm up after the walk, and I could take that time to interact with the group as a whole for a short time before it is time to leave.
I could meet their expectation that I show up, and also meet my need to leave feeling connected, instead of overwhelmed and resentful.
Working as a family to share our “to-feel lists, then evaluating,re-imagining and re-jigging existing traditions together as a family could be a wonderful new tradition. Feeling heard, understood and like an effort is being made to meet each other's’ needs just might be the best gift of all
Resources / Activities:
CAMH-Dealing with Holiday stress
CAMH- Tips for a Healthy Holiday Season
CMHA- Managing Holiday Stress
CBC- Less Holiday Stress
Money Crashers- 9 Tips for Holiday Stress Management
Be Well- Stanford- Surviving the Family Holiday
Mayo Clinic- Tips for Holiday Coping
Best health- 10 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress
Dr. Michelle Borba- Holiday Stress Busters for Kids and Teens
Huffington- Teen's Guide to Surviving December